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23 March 2010 @ 06:10 pm
[SJ]이 사람이다 (It's this person)  
Title: 이 사람이다 (It's this person)
Author: labymiro@winters18
Genre: Growing romance with
Rating: G
Pairing: HaeEun (HaeHyuk)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Sub-titles from 31_days
Summary: A look into the two dancers of Super Junior from the first time they met until now. Just like that, like how water flows from high to low, their relationship changes as if it’s nothing but a simple law of nature, like transition of weather.

A/N:

I was listening to the radio when Kim JongGook's 이 사람이다 came on and had sudden inspiration to write but then I had to leave in the middle and to be honest, I think the rest became rambling orz... It's all a complete draft, I didn't even take a second look at it, but hope you enjoy... And please comment!!


:::::이 사람이다 (It's this person) by labymiro:::::


Fate could create you and I


Hyukjae meets Donghae on a perfectly ordinary day of a trainee and they share a perfectly ordinary greeting. They exchange their names, along with some other unspoken measurements of each other, and five minutes later, Donghae has his arm slung around the slim shoulders, his face split in a wide smile that brims with child-like innocence.

Hyukjae smiles, flashing his gum. He thinks he doesn’t want that smile to ever be tainted by anything because it’s too… perfect.

Donghae pokes Hyukaje’s cheek. He thinks his luck has followed him from Mokpo, bringing this anorexic-looking boy to him to be his first friend in a city too alien and too big.

From the next day, they are attached at hips and the word ‘HaeHyuk’ is born years before their debut between the trainees.


Happiness is being sad together


Their time as trainees are not easy, mildly put, but they persevere, because they have dreams. The dreams taunt them, and they run, run, run, and sometimes fall, and now, it’s become their second nature to take a look back every once in a while to check whether the other has fallen in a pitfall, waiting for his hand, trusting that the hand will come.

Donghae has difficult times because his home is so far away, travelling taxes him, and sometimes, he loses the innocent prankster in him to the anxious rush to fulfill his and his father’s dream before it’s too late, and Hyukjae knows when those bright sparkles die a little in the soft eyes. So he takes Donghae’s hand in his, brings him to an empty practice room, and whispers soft magic words to bring back the lovable vivacity of Lee Donghae, until he smiles at him, softer than his usual laughter-filled ones but more genuine than ever.

Hyukjae’s been a trainee longer than Donghae and has had more groups than Donghae falling through at the last minute. Though experienced, it doesn’t mean a little part of Hyukjae doesn’t die every time when it happens, and when the gummy smile fades away a little from the pale face, Donghae envelops him in his arms, be it on a street in boiling summer or in a trainees-filled practice room or in the toilet cubicle Hyukjae’s been crying in, and Donghae doesn’t say anything, but he weaves his fingers into Hyukjae’s hair, pressing him firmly against his chest, hard enough for Hyukjae to hear the steady beat of Donghae’s heart, and the magic is cast.


Into a cascade of fragrant stars


There are excitement and anxiety, perhaps even fear, electricity sizzling in the room. Eunhyuk, Hyukjae says in a slightly trembling voice, that’s going to be my stage name. Eunhyuk, Donghae tests it, how it rolls off his tongue, repeats it a few times, and with no warning, proceeds to hug the daylight out of the startled boy and Hyukjae doesn’t know what it means but he returns it anyway because he can feel a huge smile pressed against his neck and if Donghae’s happy, he’s happy. They are two people with one mind, been so ever since they’ve met, and even before the debut, Jungsoo – Leeteuk – teases them that they will be the first couple in the group because they are just so obvious.

A few months later, Super Junior, the biggest boy band in history, fills up the music stage under the spotlight, facing the heat together, hands tightly held together.

It takes less than a month before the members, including Eunhyuk and Donghae, start to notice EunHae banners amidst their screaming fans. Eunhyuk and Donghae laugh, winking at each other carefree, and shoves the KangTeuk banners to Leeteuk’s face, because they don’t care and Kangin takes it as some sort of competition between them, pleading and egging on his ‘wife’ for more fanservice as Eunhyuk and Donghae share another sweat-soaked hug after a performance.


Face to face with the sky



In a drama or a film, there’s always a downpour, the sky mucky grey, and the hair drips wet, the clothes turning a shade darker. But it’s not a drama or a film, so it doesn’t rain, and the sky is cruelly blue, blue, blue.

The members leave it to Eunhyuk, not because they don’t care but because it has to be Eunhyuk right now, and Eunhyuk knows it too. So an hour later, while the others are helping Donghae’s mother and brother, Eunhyuk slips out of the hospital and finds Donghae standing still in a small empty corner of the parking lot.

Donghae’s eyes are fixed on the white envelope in his hands and Eunhyuk hugs him from behind, running his hands down the black suit clad arms until he’s holding the pallid hands in his. Without a word, gently, slowly, he uncurls the stiff fingers from the crumpled envelope, slips it into the front pocket of Donghae’s jacket, and interlocks their fingers.

Their first payment has come too late.

Eunhyuk rests his forehead on Donghae’s shoulder and he hears the first hitched breath, tiny and subtle, as if the contact has broken the time-binding spell over him. He tightens his hold, head still bent low, and the shaking of the shoulders grow, and he feels warm moisture on the interwoven hands.

Just like that, Eunhyuk keeps Donghae, warm, standing, loved, and alive, until Donghae spills out all his grief and sorrow and anger, and thereafter too.


How do you redefine something that never really had a name?


It doesn’t take even a few minutes before the managers and the members give up on bringing Donghae back home from the hospital. Once Donghae decides on something, there’s no wavering him, and he’s looking murderous enough to make the managers well seasoned in their jobs shrink away.

Once all the others leave, Donghae and Eunhyuk don’t say much except a word of sorry from Eunhyuk. Donghae doesn’t speak at all, merely sitting next to bruised Eunhyuk’s bed, their fingers lightly curled around each other’s in a not-quite-so grip, precariously hanging in midair yet never falling.

They look at each other and after a moment, Eunhyuk flashes a weak smile and closes his eyes, succumbing to the shock of the accident and the analgesics flowing through him. Donghae remains still like a statue, their fingerprints still attempting to fit into each other’s. He blinks about once a minute.

The silence is broken when Leeteuk whispers from the other bed in the room, his voice croaked but his eyes surprisingly clear and serious as they watch his two dongsaengs.

Donghae, what is Hyukjae to you?

Donghae looks at the injured leader in a deadpan gaze, glances at the large white patch draped across his back, and tells him to go to sleep.


This is just a secret that happens to involve you



Leeteuk announces the formation of SJM and Eunhyuk and Donghae find themselves not too surprised with the selection of the members. Eunhyuk’s happy that Donghae is finally in a unit and Donghae is excited at the prospect of overseas travelling. They joke about Donghae getting lost in the airport in China, Hankyung getting spammed with phone calls from Heechul, Kyuhyun fussing over internet connection for his StarCraft, Siwon buying Chinese bible, and Ryewook missing the dorm kitchen.

It’s much, much later, like, 3 in the morning, when Donghae wakes up at the soft whisper calling him. He’s not awake enough to match the voice to a face but he instinctively knows what that particular voice means to him, and without opening his eyes, he lifts his blanket up.

A thin body with pleasant warmth slips in, plumps up the pillow next to his, and settles down. The single bed is somewhat – somewhat? – small for two grown-up men, but both are pretty slim, one more the other, and with casual throwing of arms over each other, it’s sorted.

Next morning, when he climbs out of the sleep and sees Eunhyuk’s habitual small pout close enough to make him go cross-eyed, Donghae realizes this is the first time in years that they’ve slept like this and relishes in how familiar and comfortable it feels despite the gap, closing his eyes again with a small, lazy smile stretching his lips.

He brings Eunhyuk a little closer to him, tugging at the waist. Eunhyuk shifts unconsciously with an annoyed groan, before the frown smoothes out again, Donghae chuckles, and soon, he’s asleep once more.

From that night, it becomes a habit, and if Leeteuk knows of Eunhyuk’s nightly elopement from 11th floor – of course he does, he shares the room with Donghae – he never shows.


Noise has one advantage: it drowns out words


They haven’t been apart for so long ever since they meet and the prospect of it comes over them for the first time when the 15 boys are attempting to break the windows with their noise before what would be only the first of many departures of SJM.

After a chaos of goodbyes and hugs, Donghae finds himself in front of Eunhyuk, and the two look at each other, mirroring the same anxiety in their eyes like the first time they performed. Eunhyuk doesn’t doubt Hankyung will take good care of Donghae and Donghae doesn’t doubt Leeteuk will take good care of Eunhyuk but it had always been each other that had been there and it’s as if it hits them for the first time, how irreplaceable they have become to each other.

In the whirlwind of sniffs and shouts and cackles – Heechul – and laughter, they hold each other in their arms, remembering the curves of the muscles, the crook of the neck, the scent of the hair, the warmth of the lean body, and murmurs into each other’s ears the words that others surely would have teased them to no end had they heard them.

I’ll be waiting.

I’ll be back.


The subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul



SJM does way better than anyone had expected and Super Junior’s third album is a massive, massive success. They think they have finally reached that light that had seemed so far away, never expecting the tears and the laughs to end now, but the end of the year comes and everything seems to crash down.

When Donghae comes back from China, managing to survive through the teary fans clogging up the airport, he notices the dark bags under the tired eyes despite the gummy smile.

When Eunhyuk greets Donghae back in the dorm after another day of murderous schedule, he notices the shaper jaw line and the lips thinned into a line under the cap pressed low despite the shadow.

The night grows dark, the welcome back celebration is cut shorter than usual, and for the first time, it’s Donghae who slips into Eunhyuk’s room even before Eunhyuk’s in his pyjama.

Eunnyuk’s bed is a little bit larger than Donghae’s since he has own room but the two hold each other just as tight as they did in Donghae’s bed, listening to the soft breathing, feeling the rise and fall of the chest pressed against. Eunhyuk’s about to fall asleep soon, he hasn’t had decent sleep for days, tossing and turning without Donghae during the turbulent times, and suddenly, Donghae’s whispering to him, his voice calm and almost deadpan like he’s talking about the weather, and the words soak into him like rain in desert.

I love you.

Mm, Eunhyuk hums after a second, his eyes still closed. Donghae starts again, this time, pulling Eunhyuk against him, weaving his fingers in Eunhyuk’s hair and pressing his head against his chest, like he’s done so many times before, and Eunhyuk lets him, his ear ringing of Donghae’s heartbeat. It’s steady and regular, not fast or erratic, like a lullaby, and Eunhyuk feels his heart matching the beat. Badump, badump, badump.

No matter where we are, we’re always together, right?

Mm, Eunhyuk hums again, draping his arm around Donghae’s waist. He chuckles sleepily when he feels a feathery kiss on the top of his head, shifting a little in his new position, and almost immediately, he’s asleep.

Just like that, like how water flows from high to low, their relationship changes as if it’s nothing but a simple law of nature, like transition of weather.

Because for Eunhyuk, it’s always been Donghae, and for Donghae, it’s always been Eunhyuk. It’s just never been put in words, but it never had to be.

Next morning, they wake up in one bed, wrapped in each other, whispers good morning, shares a warm kiss, and it's another day they face together, just like how it's been and how it will be.
 
 
 
라비미로labymiro: 슈주 // 동해 // 미소labymiro on March 23rd, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)
XDD and your comment arrived just fine!!! hope it didn't crash your computer though OoO;;;
glad you enjoyed it, i haven't been writing properly for ages now so it's all a bit rusty ;;;

thanks for risking comp crash for a comment...XDD